Ok, perverts…here it is…..
I was in bed with a blind girl last night, and she said that I had
the biggest penis she had ever laid her hands on. I said “You’re pulling my
leg.”
I saw a poor old lady fall over today on the sidewalk! At least I
presume she was poor – she only had $1.20 in her purse.
My girlfriend thinks that I’m a stalker. Well, she’s not exactly
my girlfriend yet.
Went for my routine checkup today and everything seemed to be
going fine until he stuck his index finger up my butt! Do you think I should
change dentists?
A wife says to her husband you’re always pushing me around and
talking behind my back. He says what do you expect? You’re in a wheel chair.
I was explaining to my wife last night that when you die you get
reincarnated but must come back as a different creature. She said she would
like to come back as a cow. I said, “You’re obviously not listening”.
The wife has been missing for a week now. Police said to prepare
for the worst. So, I have been to the thrift shop to get all of her clothes
back.
At the Senior Citizens Center they had a contest the other day. I
lost by one point: The question was: Where do women mostly have curly hair?
Apparently the correct answer was Africa!!!
There’s a new Muslim clothing shop opened in our shopping center,
but I’ve been banned from it after asking to look at some of the new bomber
jackets.
Being a modest man, when I checked into my hotel on a recent trip,
I said to the lady at the registration desk, “I hope the porn channel in my
room is disabled.” To which she replied, “No, it’s regular people-porn, you
sick bastard.”
A buddy of mine has just told me he’s getting it on with his
girlfriend and her twin. I said “How can you tell them apart?” He said “Her
brother’s got a mustache.”
Hoot:
The Red Cross have just knocked at our door and asked if we could
help towards the floods in Pakistan. I said we would love to, but our garden
hose only reaches the driveway
